Daniel W.

Gnome Battle

For Easter my family joined the military.

We were going on an Easter egg hunt when the garden gnomes came to LIFE!! We grabbed all of the destructive tools we could find. For some reason there was a marshmallow slingshot on the ground, so I picked it up.  With all of my hope, I launched.  

I hit a few gnomes and they shattered to the ground. But to my surprise, the garden gnomes formed back together.  So, I launched some more.  But again, the garden gnomes formed together.

I looked to the street and saw the military driving toward us.  They were driving in panzerfausts that are made of Japanese green tea Kit Kats that fired giant jellybeans. They launched at the gnomes.  All of them shattered to the ground. But to their surprise, they all came back together.

Then a Jeep came to our family.  I was expecting a gargantuan man to come out of the Jeep. But instead, a cat with a magnum P.I. mustache came out of the Jeep. He said, “Meow meow meow meow.” Or, “ LISTEN UP, PRIVATE, WE HAVE TO TAKE DOWN THESE GNOMES. THEY ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE BY FORCE. SO I HAVE THESE BOOKS THAT WILL HELP YOU.”

So he gave us these strange, leather-bound books.  Not knowing what to do, I chucked the books toward the gnomes, but I missed. Nothing happened.  I looked to my side. My beloved sister, Drew, had been taken over by garden gnomes! She was gone forever.  

I started getting angry. I opened the book and a flurry of flames came out of it.  A lot of garden gnomes fell to the ground. Melted. They did not form anymore. So, I yelled, “EXPECTO PATRONUM!” All of the gnomes fell on the ground, burnt to a crisp.   

Then I heard a rumbling noise. THE EASTER BUNNY WAS HERE AND HAD ANOTHER FLEET OF GNOMES! There was also an airship coming from the sky. It started spitting out more garden gnomes. Then, it dropped a giant pile of garden gnomes onto us. The whole family didn't make it, except for me. I walked over to General Meow. He said, “Meow meow meow meow.’’ Or, “It is over.  We are done for. We will be defeated.”

The airship spat again. Covered in garden gnomes, I crawled out of the pile.  Nobody was in sight. I cried; everyone I cared for was defeated.

But Danny will always be my master,

-Sergeant Fluffypaws